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Written by Andrea
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Wednesday, 30 September 2009 20:39 |
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1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.
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Written by sam
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Friday, 09 October 2009 21:02 |
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1. Choking on Smarties
2. Climbing half way up 6ft slide then turning to wave
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Written by Andrea
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Sunday, 18 October 2009 21:06 |
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 All the good Mum sites & books will tell you that you should be doing stuff like this but it can be a right pain getting all the ingredients sorted in the presence of wailing midget who wants to measure the flour and break the eggs themselves. You'll be pleased to know that there are hundreds of easy options for slacker Mums, so get out the packet of biscuits and pre bought packet mixes and join us in our quest to make life as easy as possible.
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Written by Andrea
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Sunday, 18 October 2009 20:58 |
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 Let's be clear about this from the start. This sort of activity means you will have to sit for up to 90 minutes in a confined area, or at least in the vicinity of your seats and listen and watch what can best be described as a group of professional dancers/actors etc trying to retain a modicum of dignity as they prance around in garish costumes entertaining under 5s. In terms of street cred, they have none. After you are seen going to one of these, you won't either...
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Written by sam
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Friday, 09 October 2009 20:48 |
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1. Force feeding poppadoms aged 2 weeks
2. Hitting repeatedly over the head with wooden train track
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Written by Andrea
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Wednesday, 30 September 2009 20:35 |
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How do you decide who to marry?
(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. (Alan, age 10)
(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.(Kerstin, age 10)
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Written by Andrea
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Wednesday, 30 September 2009 20:49 |
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1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans.
2. Men: to prepare for paternity, go the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper and read it for the last time.
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Written by Andrea
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Tuesday, 29 September 2009 22:00 |
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Great Truths for Little People
1. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person
4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato
5. Never trust a dog to watch your food
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