1. Force feeding poppadoms aged 2 weeks
2. Hitting repeatedly over the head with wooden train track

3. Smothering with a giant Fimble
4. Attempting to pull downstairs headfirst by his shirtcuffs
5. Undoing highchair straps and firmly tugging ankles
6. Garrotting with an early learning centre tape measure
7. Using his face as a beanbag
8. Trying to colour in his brain via a felt tip inserted in left nostril
9. Tipping buggy backwards onto concrete path
10. Stuffing sponge down throat in bath